Losing my Dad was one of the most personal things that happened to me when it comes to my parents.
We lost my father in March a year ago today. It’s so sobering thinking you’d never see this person again, I really try not to think about it. In fact, just typing this brings me tears. I had just settled down into a chair and got very comfortable to blog. My daughter who was in Grade 6 a the time was home with me – I believe she had a cold and fever and had to be home from school. She was sitting on one couch all comfortable. I hoped on and just about said “Ahhhhh” (like I finally can just sit here, relax and get stuff done online). Minutes later, the call came from my sister frantically crying and saying “(insert dad’s name) died”.
It was such a tender time in our lives. We waited until the beginning of May to bury him and say our goodbyes. This long wait was mainly for travel purposes between families. My dad lived abroad so my own immediate family along with siblings and other relatives had to travel from the U.S. We Coordinated travel plans to accommodate everyone. My own family was ready to travel the moment dad passed but we decided to wait for dad’s side of the family to come. So much drama came out of the whole thing too that every time I think about it, it makes me so sad. Once everything was settled in that regards, we were able to move on, not in the sense of getting over it (because there’s nothing like grieving a loved one’s lost) but in the sense of trying to pick up ourselves and continue on.
It’s not easy to lose a parent. Every so often, I get a moment where I think of asking my mom how dad is doing. Asking how he was doing had become a regular question. You see, he was ill for over 2 with foot problems and prostrate cancer. Most of it, he either took short steps or could not walk without help. Eventually within the last 4 months or so of his life, dad had 2 falls while trying to practice walking. These put him down and confined him to the bed. Other complications made things worse and eventually, dad passed. Now that he is gone, I still find my self on occasion almost asking that question. It seems so unreal.
People have told me that the grief does not go away and that it’s ok to take time to grieve. If you’ve ever lost someone close to you, I know you feel this. It’s OK to grieve. The world may forget and move on but you wouldn’t, at least not right away. That person was special to you. Things are going to feel empty, like what was there is no longer there. You take the time you need to come to terms with it; grieve as you need to.
I’ve been trying to get around to writing this post for months now and just didn’t know what to say. I did mention it here last year but then decided to do a separate post just for that.
Someone told me that the clouds look like wings like my dad is surrounding me. I guess they were referring to the blue outline – not sure.
Here’s just a few casual photos around my sister’s house
There’s not much more to add to this post; just wanted to put this on here since this blog has been a part of my family’s journey and sharing lifestyle updates has been a part of that. Thank you for your support friends.
